Fear and writing

I am afraid to write. I fear that I will fail, that I cannot give shape to the story. That all my idea’s are halves and none will ever be a full story. I write bits and pieces. Tatters. Nothing I commit to words ever feels complete. Writing is what I’ve always wanted to do, what I’ve always loved. Ever since I learned in school I barely did anything else but make up stories and write them down. I don’t know when I started to be afraid. It probably happened at the same age for me as it does for everybody. We all learn to be afraid.

I should probably just start again and see where I end up. I can never get better at writing if I don’t practice. Even if it turns out to be just an other incomplete story.

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Journal pages

I filled up my Moleskine and moved on to a new one, this time a sketchbook one (I prefer the thicker pages to the blank notebook paper). I scanned some of the pages I did to share:

Bike and Lego

On the left page I wanted to draw a girl who’s really happy (a lot of my girls come out looking a bit sleepy/sad), and her on the bike is inspired by this video by Suzi Blu about her stamp ‘wheels of freedom’. I wanted to make my own version. 🙂
On the right is me wondering what Lego-me would look like. The background is so spotty because aquamarkers don’t really work on the Moleskine sketchbookpaper, it get absorbed too fast so that adding water only makes it weird. You learn things about how materials work together every time you try something new. I used regular pro and copic markers for the lego girl, and I’m pretty happy with the result.

Too Many Feels

On the left I pasted the result of practicing with aquamarkers on watercolourpaper (excellent, loved it!) and on the right a mixed media page about feeling emotionally drained. We all get those moments and for me making this page really helped me recharge. I’m quite happy with the result (yay for layering!).

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